I have been in a bit of a funk lately. I just can’t seem to get my head into the game. I’m not excited about my home projects. Life in general seems to wear me out. I get irritated every time I have to cook a meal, and I’d rather just grab a to-go meal from a restaurant and bring it home for us. And I’d rather just spend my days sitting at my desk, checked out of my own life and watching other people online live theirs as I scroll Instagram or Facebook or YouTube.
I know that sounds a little heavy. It’s not depression. I don’t feel depressed. More accurately, I’m just completely unmotivated. I don’t think I realized just how frustrated and unmotivated I’ve been feeling lately until a friend asked me last night how my projects were going and what I was working on, and my immediate response was, “I’m just tired, and I wish I could just retire.” We talked a bit more about that, and then I got in my car and drove home. And on the way home, I thought to myself, “Do I really wish I could retire?“
The answer is no. That’s not it. After all, if I were to retire, how would my life look any different than it does today? As a general rule, I’m not the kind of person to sit still for long. So if I were to retire, I’d be spending my days working on projects around the house. That’s just who I am, and that’s what I enjoy doing. And if I’m working on fun projects and getting things done, I’d want to share them with people. And I would want to share them here…with you.
So on my short drive home, I realized very quickly that the issue isn’t that I want to retire and spend my days sitting at my desk scrolling Instagram. That doesn’t sound like a fulfilling life to me at all. And yet, I’ve definitely been in a slump lately where that’s all I want to do. So I had to figure out why. Why am I lacking motivation lately? Why does everything feel like such a monumental task to me? Why would I rather just check out, sit at my desk, and watch other people live their lives as I scroll social media rather than living my own?
So last night when I got home, I gave myself permission to sit at my desk and scroll social media until bedtime, but that would be the last time. I was determined to get up this morning with a renewed attitude and a newfound motivation to get things done even if I had to fake it until I genuinely felt it.
Well, I happened to come across a YouTube channel that caught my attention. The channel is called Organized Chaos and the woman’s name is Audrey. The algorithm brought me to one of her YouTube shorts about how she keeps her house clean and organized. She seemed relatable and her tips seemed doable. So I clicked over to her channel and continued watching her shorts. I don’t know how many I watched, but I watched a whole lot of them, and I was feeling very inspired.
So I woke up this morning, determined to make myself feel inspired and motivated even if I had to fake it, and as soon as I walked into my kitchen, I felt overwhelmed and defeated. It was a cluttered mess with a sink piled full of dishes, and that’s when I realized a big source of my lack of motivation lately. It’s my kitchen sink.
I know this is going to sound ridiculous, but have you ever noticed that these cleaning and organizing websites, YouTube channels, books, etc., place such a focus on having a clean kitchen sink? It’s been a very long time since I read anything about the Flylady method, but if I remember correctly, getting your kitchen sink clean was one of the very first steps, if not THE first step. I remember something about her saying that even if you have to stack dishes on the countertop, just do it and get your kitchen sink clean.
Well, there must be something to that because I haven’t been able to keep a clean kitchen sink in…well…months. And as strange as it sounds, I think that has been a huge part of my problem lately. I could count on one hand the number of days that I’ve had a clean kitchen sink in the last six months. Other than those few days, my kitchen sink is piled with dirty dishes. Case in point, this is my kitchen this morning.
And when it’s like that, everything else seems like such a struggle. Cooking meals goes from being a simple task to a struggle. Cleaning the kitchen countertops goes from a simple task to a struggle. Having a home that looks, feels, and smells clean starts to seem impossible, and then that contributes to my irritation and frustration.
So why has my sink looked like this for the most part of the last six months or so? Well, it started when the garbage disposal stopped working. I have a single basin sink, and my experience for the last 10+ years has been that when you have a single basin sink with a garbage disposal, sometimes I have to turn the garbage disposal on just to get water to drain. So when the garbage disposal stopped working, even if I was very careful not to put food into the sink, I couldn’t even get water to drain properly.
I put “replace garbage disposal” on my to-do list and went about my business, working on my other projects, and dealing with an incredibly slow-draining sink for a few weeks. And since I don’t have a functioning dishwasher, trying to keep up with washing dishes with a very slow-draining sink that would get filled up with water and take hours to drain meant that I procrastinated on washing dishes. So those started to pile up.
I finally got around to buying a new garbage disposal and installing it. I know I’ve mentioned several times that any kind of plumbing is my absolute least favorite thing to do, and that includes installing a new garbage disposal. And that’s why I put it off for several weeks. But I finally did it, and I finally had a properly functioning sink. So I could finally get caught up on all of the dishes and get my kitchen completely clean. It felt great…for about three weeks. And then, for some reason that I can’t even explain, that garbage disposal stopped working, and I was right back to the original problem — a slow-draining sink, dishes piling up, feeling like it was impossible to keep my kitchen clean.
At that point, I was so frustrated that I decided I was done with garbage disposals. I know they’re not good to have anyway, so I decided that I was going to go without. This time, I was going to remove the garbage disposal altogether and redo the plumbing underneath the sink so that it was just a normal drain.
So I finally got around to doing that (again, spending my time and energy doing plumbing, which I just can’t stand), and I thought that would be the solution to my problem. No garbage disposal, no problems, right? Things should work properly now, and I’d finally be able to get caught up on my dishes, get my kitchen clean, and then keep it clean.
Nope. I realized very quickly that having a single basin sink with one drain and no garbage disposal creates a huge problem. As much as I try to scrape everything from all of our plates and dishes before putting them in the sink, it seems like the smallest amount of food getting caught in the strainer once again causes the water to start filling the sink and the sink to drain slowly. So once again, trying to wash dishes was incredibly frustration, and trying to keep a clean kitchen sink felt impossible.
And that’s where I am today. Every day I wake up to a kitchen sink full of dirty dishes and a feeling of dread at trying to get them clean because the water just won’t drain. And then I’m left with a sink full of dirty water that leaves my sink dirty and grimy once it finally drains. So for the last few months, I’ve hated being in my kitchen. I get frustrated every time I have to try to cook a meal. I get irritated that I can’t keep a clean kitchen.
Obviously, I just need to call a plumber to fix everything for me and get my kitchen in proper working order again. As strange as it sounds, I really do believe that dealing with this stupid kitchen sink issue for the last few months has robbed me of my peace and my motivation lately. When I feel like I can’t have a clean, organized, fresh-smelling home, no matter how many other projects I get done, I begin to feel defeated and have zero motivation.
You’re probably asking, “Why haven’t you already called a plumber?” I guess I was trying to convince myself that I could wait to buy a new sink. I want a double basin sink from now on, and the challenge is that for now, I need it to be a drop in sink since that’s what works with my concrete countertops, but when I redo our kitchen, I want an undermount sink. I didn’t want to spend money on a new sink now and then have to purchase yet another sink in the (hopefully somewhat near) future. So I was trying to convince myself to “just hang in there” for a while longer. But I realize now that this isn’t something I can keep putting off. I need an efficient, properly functioning kitchen, and that starts with a functioning kitchen sink. And I need it now.
And not only does that include a properly functioning sink, but it also includes a new dishwasher. I’m fully back on board with a dishwasher, so I need to replace our broken one. That’s another thing I was trying to hold off on until I get to our kitchen redo, but I think it needs to be done now.
There’s simply no reason that washing dishes needs to be so mentally draining and frustrating. And there’s no reason that cooking as simple meal needs to feel like a monumental chore. And there’s no reason that having a clean kitchen should feel like an unobtainable goal. And yet, for six months now (maybe longer), that has been my challenge. And it is draining me and robbing me of my peace and motivation. So I’m determined to put a stop to that this weekend, starting with buying a new kitchen sink and calling the plumber.
Addicted 2 Decorating is where I share my DIY and decorating journey as I remodel and decorate the 1948 fixer upper that my husband, Matt, and I bought in 2013. Matt has M.S. and is unable to do physical work, so I do the majority of the work on the house by myself. You can learn more about me here.
